However, that doesn't mean that you can't maintain any spark throughout the duration of your relationship. Sometimes, maintaining or reclaiming the spark is about focusing on the relationship in meaningful ways, even if they are brief or small.
Leave your significant other a good-morning note by their toothbrush, for example, or bring home a favorite treat for the two of you to share for dessert or a late-night snack. Text them a song that makes you think of them, stop by their workplace with a midday pick-me-up, or make plans for an old-fashioned date on the weekend. No matter what you do to surprise and treat your loved one, do your best to be thoughtful. If they are stressed out over work, springing plans for a long date night might not be the pleasant surprise you think it is.
Freshly made coffee and an encouraging word in the morning might go a lot further in showing your affection. Hopefully, if you initiate these small steps, your partner will follow your lead and reciprocate with their own acts of affection.
Knowing someone is thinking of you and trying to make you smile can be exciting and attractive. It might even bring a spark of its own. Relationships are a lot of work, and people are imperfect. That means that somewhere along the way, partners are probably going to do things or say things that they shouldn't. Mistakes, and even intentional arguments, are natural parts of any close relationship.
If you want your love to last past that spark, you need to work on forgiving. Holding grudges will not do anything to help your relationship. Remember, too, that you might unintentionally offend or hurt your partner at some point, and they need to be given the opportunity to forgive you in turn. Along with getting better at forgiving your partner, you need to be prepared and ready to offer your own "I'm sorry" when needed—and mean it.
Life is busy, and it can be easy to get caught up in the busyness. At the beginning of a relationship, you spend time going out on dates and doing things that you both enjoy. As a relationship continues it's easy to get caught up in obligations and let your mutual interests slide. If you want your relationship to thrive again, do your best to set aside time that you two can spend together doing things that you enjoy. This will look different for every couple; some might prefer romantic nights together at home, while others might enjoy outdoor activities or sports.
Volunteering for a cause you both want to support could be particularly rewarding. You might find a whole new interest to pursue together. The activity that you do isn't the important part. The intentional quality time that you spend together is. Do you prefer face-to-face conversations in the moment, but they prefer time to reflect first?
Communication is crucial to understanding, and especially in a long-term romantic relationship, feeling understood will allow each of you to care more fully for each other. It will also help you to get through disagreements without turning them into major fights. Things in common? A similar idea of where you see your life together going?
Can you depend on them to have your back when the going gets tough? Do you support each other's dreams? Do you even know what each other's dreams are? Maybe you do feel connected to your partner in those ways, and it's your time to explore that part of your relationship further. Maybe you don't feel connected to your partner in those ways, and it's time to work on building up those dimensions of your relationship.
Maybe you don't feel connected to your partner in those ways, and you don't really have much of a desire to build them up. Maybe it's just time to move on. Whatever the case may be, it's your chance to make an informed decision on where you really see this relationship going. That decision could lead to a breakup which does not make the spark you felt with the person any less real. It could also lead to a lifetime spent with this person, filled with tons of fizzled and reignited sparks.
Some people call it a "rut. The bottomline is, no matter how you choose to look at it or what you choose to call it, a fizzled spark is going to happen. You can lose the spark and reignite it a million times over the course of one relationship. And this can happen in so many different ways. It can happen when you take the time to learn a new side of them that makes you fall in love with them all over again.
Does he seem distant? Does he make you doubt his honesty? It is vital for couples to communicate and find a way to keep the flame burning.
Otherwise, that passion you once felt will become non-existent and the love will slowly fade away. If you wait too long, your whole marriage can go down the drain. In the beginning every relationship seems mysterious, exciting and interesting. He used to find you fascinating.
What happened to his sense of humor? Where did the excitement go? Dig deeper and find the root of his indifference. In the past he used to get over the hard times faster. Is he too focused on your defects? Does he seem reluctant and suspicious?
Why focus on the negative when you can keep hope alive with memories that made both of you feel joy and happiness? Break out those pictures. Go visit your old haunts.
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